Capitol Card
by darlingcas
Summary: All former citizens of District 12 are required by law to become citizens of The Capitol. Haymitch Abernathy, however, doesn't turn in his paperwork and risks arrest if he doesn't become a Capitol citizen by Friday. The only solution is to marry a natural born Capitol woman, and the only one he knows is- you guessed it: Effie Trinket.
1. Chapter 1

** I've decided to write another fanfic containing one of my favorite ships: Hayffie. I really hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review with your thoughts :)**

Haymitch slammed his bottle of alcohol down on the table and wiped the moisture from his lips with his sleeve. His television automatically turned on, blaring the new Capitol Theme, which quiet irritated his pounding alcohol-induced headache. He closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable on the couch, barely listening to the new presidents announcement.

"As we have been mentioning for weeks: All former residents of District 12 are required by law to have gotten their Capitol Citizenship. The deadline is Friday morning."

His eyes shot open and he bolted up on the couch. He'd completely forgotten about this. Now he didn't have enough time to get the paperwork in on time for him to get his citizenship. He groaned and placed his head in his hands. "What am I going to do?" He muttered to himself, standing up and rummaging through the cabinets for more alcohol. When his search turned up nothing, he headed over to Peeta's house. The kid wasn't a drinker, but always kept a bottle handy just in case his old pal Haymitch should happen to show up.

Haymitch knocked and waited rather impatiently for Peeta to open the door. When he finally did, the alluring scent of baking bread filled Haymitch's nostrils.

"Still baking huh?" He said with a smirk. Peeta wasn't exactly sure why Haymitch found his baking amusing, so he merely opened the door wider and went straight to the cabinet where he kept the alcohol. He poured some into a shot glass and handed it to his mentor. Haymitch grinned. "You know me so well kid." He said, tilting his head back as he swallowed his alcohol. "So." Peeta began. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"You heard the announcement?" Haymitch asked, but it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yup." Peeta replied. "I am now a Proud Member of The Capitol." _  
_

Haymitch sensed some sarcasm in the boys voice. Taking a deep breath he looked around nervously.

"Tell me you sent in the paperwork." Peeta said, leaning across the table to look at Haymitch.

Haymitch turned away. Peeta closed his eyes. "Haymitch..."

"Hey, I forgot about it until today!" Haymitch said, raising his hands defensively. Peeta shook his head. "I can't believe you Haymitch. Do you _want _to get thrown in jail?"

There was a long, and very awkward silence. Peeta stood up to get his bread out of the oven. After he had set the hot, fragrant loaf on the stove top, he turned back to Haymitch.

"I'm getting Katinss and Effie. I think we need to all talk about this together."

~ () ~

Peeta walked over to where Katniss lived, and together they took the fifteen minute train down to where Effie lived.

"We need to hurry." Peeta said, glancing at his watch. "Before Haymitch drinks that whole bottle of alcohol and is totally incoherent by the time we get back."

Katniss brushed a piece of her dark hair out her face and sighed. "Okay. I'll run up to Effies apartment, you get our seats ready.

She left Peeta on the train and walked to Effies apartment. It was quite an upscale place. Very sophisticated and posh. Very Effie. She took the elevator up to Effies floor, and an Avox let her into Effies apartment, knowing who she was.

"Effie!" Katniss called out. "Ohhh Katniss! What a lovely surprise!" Effie exclaimed, emerging from her bedroom and giving Katniss air kisses on each cheek. The scar running across her left cheek bone reminded Katniss that despite how Effie acted, she was still hurt in the rebellion, and she would be changed forever.

"I'm here about Haymitch." Katniss stated bluntly, not wanting to waste any more time. Effie rubbed her temples. "Did he forget to pay his fine for public disturbance again? I paid it last time, but he just can't keep-"

"No." Katniss interrupted. "That's not it. Can you just come with me? We're all going to go to Peeta's to talk things over."

Effie looked surprised, but she took Katniss' outstretched hand and followed her to the elevator.

When they were all gathered at Peeta's table (and Haymitch only a _little _drunker than they had left him) Peeta sliced up some bread and handed it out, as Haymitch explained his predicament. "Oh Haymitch..." Effie sighed, picking at her cuticles.

There was a bit of silence before it was harshly broken. "You idiot!" Katniss exploded. "You're going to jail for this. Do you know that? _Jail. _And I hate to break it to you buddy, but there's no alcohol in jail."

"Katniss please." Peeta said, placing his hand on her arm. She stopped talking but continued to disapprovingly look at Haymitch.

"What am I going to do?" He groaned, laying his head down on the table.

"Actually, I have a solution." Peeta began slowly. Everyone looked expectantly at him. "But I'm not sure you and Effie are going to like it."

**Sorry it's short. Just seeing if this is something you'd want to read or not. Let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, go along and say it now, Dear." Effie said, inspecting her manicured nails before looking up at Peeta expectantly. "We haven't got all night."

Peeta took a deep breath and shot Katniss a look. He knew that Haymitch would flip out when he told them his idea, but so far this was the only thing he could come up with to keep Haymitch out of jail.

"Don't jump to conclusions before I finish," Peeta began. "Just hear me out before you make a decision."

Katniss grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. She had no idea what he was going to say, but obviously it was something monumental if he was this nervous.

"Since Effie is a Capitol citizen, you would become one if you married her. You know, a Capitol Card marriage." He swallowed hard and wiped away the thin film of sweat that had settled on his forhead.

There was silence. Then Haymitch stood up and hurled his bottle of whiskey against the wall. It shattered, sending shards of glass all over the room. He yanked his coat off the back of the chair, stood up and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

"He's just shocked is all." Effie sad quietly, placing her hand over Peeta's and patting it gently. "Why, I think I'll go and try to talk some sense into him."

Katniss' brow wrinkled and she took Effie's hand. "Uh, no Effie. I don't really think he's in a 'talking' mood. You should just stay here with Peeta and I until things calm down a bit and the alcohol wears off."

~()~

Effie knocked tentatively at Haymitch's door. She shivered and pulled her arms close to her chest, trying to keep warm as she waited. It seemed a lifetime but finally Haymitch opened the door. He rolled his eyes and turned away when he saw it was her.

"You're the last person I want to see right now Sweetheart." He mumbled.

She let herself in, and sat down in a chair by the fire, trying to get warmed up.

Haymitch poured himself a glass of rum and sat in the chair opposite hers.

He tipped his glass in her direction. "Want a sip?" He asked with a smirk. She bit her lip and tried not to make a smart remark back. Mother always told her if she couldn't think of anything nice to say, just cross your legs, sit up straight and smile pretty, so that's what she did. She sat there, a bit awkwardly, trying to think of a way to say this without angering Haymitch.

"Haymitch, can I... talk to you?" She picked at her cuticles and tried to look natural.

Haymitch leaned back in his chair and took another sip from his glass. "Isn't that what you just did?"

She rolled her eyes and leaned forward. "Peeta's idea isn't half bad, you know? If you and I are married, you'll be a Capitol citizen through marriage. We would get divorced as soon as possible, of course."

Haymitch looked thoughtful. He ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair and paced around the room.

"So, if we do this, I don't have to go to jail, right?"

"No."

"And we'll divorce _immediately?_"

Effie stood up and brushed off her skirt. "Well, we would have to wait a while to avoid suspision, but yes as soon as we possibly can."

He nodded to himself. "Fine. Whatever. But I am doing _nothing_ except what I absolutely have to."

Of course Haymitch would say that. He was selfish by nature and Effie most definetely did _not_ want to marry him.

As she stepped out of his house, Effie wondered if she would be able to survive even the shortest amount of time married to that insufferable man.


End file.
